This has been a long avoided talk with myself. I don't even know how to start it or how to even talk about it. I've always felt that prying eyes could see past this behavior and see my deepest fears of this subject, especially as I befriend the pastors of the Churches I attend even so far as talking to them about personal struggles with relationships and even praying. God has been a constant for me all through this, studying and learning the Bible, knowing theological debates and knowing where my faith stands. I've felt passionate about such subjects and even in youth programs about even pastoring them.
The thing is I don't carry the stereotypical beliefs as many other Christians, not a I am disputing what the bible says but from my own studies what makes sense to me (examples might include sex, politics, abortion views, and homosexuals). I don't think that is as bad. What convicts me worse about this is that I've never felt I've had the "experience" with God that really qualifies me for any of that. I feel that a Youth Pastor would have to carry certain moral obligations which is rightfully good, but some of those would be teaching inside denominational lines which faith to me has never been like that.
I've always thought about going to one of those Bible Colleges, which I would love focused study in the bible, but I feel more it would be breaking down my behaviors and changing me into a believer of things that never ringed true to me. Whats the sense of gaining the whole world if you lose yourself kind of deal, I can't follow something I simply don't believe in because everyone else says so. I can't just go to one of these schools in hopes of feeling that "experience" because it should just be able to come of my own accord wherever I am.
I've seen my change and it is to thank God working in my life but I've just never connected as that person who could pray and talk to God on a regular basis. Would this experience fix that? Probably not? I'm not passionate about God I think as I should be because of this now, I am not one of those people that just accepts what the majority of faith accepts, and this feeling that I don't just follow that hinders my faith life to a point I feel that I am just sitting on the wrong side of the fence for God, yet I don't feel wrong like I usually have when it comes to convicting feelings.
The best way I can think of explaining is I have a faith that means everything to me, and I wouldn't disregard it without seeking deep proof of why I should give it up. Its a faith that sometimes feels without meaning(despite knowing the meaning of Jesus and love). If that can even make sense that it carries so much meaning yet doesn't at the same time. How can people not see this on me? I've been told that they can see the spirit of God upon me, but they can't see this little part of faith that continually tears away at me? Pastors that I have friended, have they seen this about me? Am I even "Christian" enough for faith?
Sometimes I don't feel people would understand my faith and would push me away, and with that I don't have very many friends of faith because I have this realistic view that they wouldn't understand and just humiliate me for not believing in such and such thing. I was already in a relationship once with a fellow believer whom would do that to me, even if I tried to speak reason alongside verses. Its a faith that feels misunderstood. Cut down. Lost... but real?
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Christ is not a Mask
Romans 13:11-14
"And do this, understanding the present time: The hour has already come for you to wake up from your slumber, because our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed. The night is nearly over; the day is almost here. So let us put aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light. Let us behave decently, as in the daytime, not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and debauchery, not in dissension and jealousy. Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the flesh"
If Christ is only used as a mask to perpetuate your own "good image" then you are trying to dirty the clothes Christ has given you. If only you could see that you put on your old dirty rags again. I don't have a "good image" I am a pretty horrible human being. There is no lie to that. People say I am a pretty good guy, and hey I am that too. I am not going to lie to myself though. I could improve this or that. I make mistakes, I own up to them the best I can. I've had less than pure relationships and carried out lusts in my relationships. I did deeply care for them, but is that a good enough excuse to cover my disrespect for them or myself? Probably not, but its my fault. I surely do not have my Righteous clothing that Christ gave me. Threw them in the dresser, and grabbed my dirty rags of my old life.
I am one of those "Christians" that probably perpetuates the hypocrisy, hate, and dislike for Jesus as a person. Jesus asked me to be a representative of him in the world. That is Jesus' light shining through my character and letting other people see the amazing life of Christ through me. One things wrong though, people get caught up in what I am doing with my life, especially focusing on my shortcomings. It seriously frustrates me to see other use Christ's clothing to promote their "good image" and fashion Jesus into a weapon. I've made my share of mistakes, but when I go to Christ and surrender my sins, and accept my clothing again to wear, its not our job now to go on a righteous quest to purge, put down or attack sinner. No, here it says to just to forget about satisfying the desires of the flesh. The examples of resisting "carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and debauchery, not in dissension and jealous" are what we are to avoid this.
Ephesians 6:10-11
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.
Saying this I guess some people might mention that their is the Armor of God, but again read just this short excerpt from it, "so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes." I know that we tend to demonize people but I don't think that our Armor of God is something to be used against our fellow brother and siblings. The sinners that we live among yet we are sinners able to wear the Righteousness of Christ cause he wills us. What happen to forgive us the wrong we have done as we forgive those who wrong us we say in the Lord's Prayer? How about we stop using Christ as a mask, own up to our mistakes and not hold the same mistakes above another person's head.
"And do this, understanding the present time: The hour has already come for you to wake up from your slumber, because our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed. The night is nearly over; the day is almost here. So let us put aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light. Let us behave decently, as in the daytime, not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and debauchery, not in dissension and jealousy. Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the flesh"
If Christ is only used as a mask to perpetuate your own "good image" then you are trying to dirty the clothes Christ has given you. If only you could see that you put on your old dirty rags again. I don't have a "good image" I am a pretty horrible human being. There is no lie to that. People say I am a pretty good guy, and hey I am that too. I am not going to lie to myself though. I could improve this or that. I make mistakes, I own up to them the best I can. I've had less than pure relationships and carried out lusts in my relationships. I did deeply care for them, but is that a good enough excuse to cover my disrespect for them or myself? Probably not, but its my fault. I surely do not have my Righteous clothing that Christ gave me. Threw them in the dresser, and grabbed my dirty rags of my old life.
I am one of those "Christians" that probably perpetuates the hypocrisy, hate, and dislike for Jesus as a person. Jesus asked me to be a representative of him in the world. That is Jesus' light shining through my character and letting other people see the amazing life of Christ through me. One things wrong though, people get caught up in what I am doing with my life, especially focusing on my shortcomings. It seriously frustrates me to see other use Christ's clothing to promote their "good image" and fashion Jesus into a weapon. I've made my share of mistakes, but when I go to Christ and surrender my sins, and accept my clothing again to wear, its not our job now to go on a righteous quest to purge, put down or attack sinner. No, here it says to just to forget about satisfying the desires of the flesh. The examples of resisting "carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and debauchery, not in dissension and jealous" are what we are to avoid this.
Ephesians 6:10-11
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.
Saying this I guess some people might mention that their is the Armor of God, but again read just this short excerpt from it, "so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes." I know that we tend to demonize people but I don't think that our Armor of God is something to be used against our fellow brother and siblings. The sinners that we live among yet we are sinners able to wear the Righteousness of Christ cause he wills us. What happen to forgive us the wrong we have done as we forgive those who wrong us we say in the Lord's Prayer? How about we stop using Christ as a mask, own up to our mistakes and not hold the same mistakes above another person's head.
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Deuterobios: Second Life?
The word Deuteronomy literally means 'second law' coming from the Greek words nomos (law) and deutero (second). In Deuteronomy Moses is essentially preaching to the Israelites or restating the Law to the new generation who had arisen during the 40 years in the wilderness. This he did prior to their entry into the promised land.
"The book of Deuteronomy is a call to remember what God has done for you and then respond with a renewed commitment to love, trust, and obey him completely. This book was Moses last chance to remember the people of Israel, who they were, where they came from, and how they got where they were" ~an Excerpt from my Revolution Young Men Bible
This is a restatement of my spiritual life, I don't add date stamps in anyways but this has occurred over the last 5 years . Mainly reprints from journals and some added touches. Who was I in the beginning and who am I now?
Teenage boy at Sophomore year, I dated numerous girls none ever lasting more than two weeks. Seeking a reason as everyone, getting over my fated Christmas break contemplating the dark sides of life constantly, since my mind was not bothered by everyday things like school. The reason never hit. Some amazing girl, that I can not believe was a close friend once, and actually an ex-girlfriend, pushed me in the greatest direction of my life. Not listening and rebelling to seek any further into what she told me was happening. I did not become a christian quite than but I showed more interest in it, more interest in God
Then I got my drivers license. I went in to sort of I guess a date freak stage. I dated a girl, depression afterwards till I dated another, and after about three relationships I found myself unhappy and happy in all of them and they never lasted a week. I blamed my problems on false emotions and degraded myself as a way to say sorry, maybe not the best way to do it but it worked at the time, even if it was in my mind. I felt then that I should try to be single and not so dependent on relationships. I was not in relationship but I started flirting with almost any girl that would respond back to me. I kind of think this is the same or even worser then just dating one girl. I was sort of disgusted with myself.
Junior Year, I felt more reasoned, more secure with life, it being filled with more friends and homecoming was coming up. Never being to a dance before, I started flirting, and ultimately asking a girl to the dance. The way the person was used without her knowing. Not officially going out before the dance, we seemed to talk more and more. Messing with each others minds, and she invites me to Church. Oh josh, God, how I wanted to really know him and learn about that scene. I decided to go.
So I did yes to be with her but slightly, mainly to answer some of my questions. Know how I said I felt judged. I feel it even now but my youth leader told me once to not worry about people judging me and that the lord had something in store for me. This sort of made me feel weird. I did not really want to believe everything thrown at me. So I attended a few more weeks. Looking around I see the common sterotypes at the Church, the All-out, arms raised, full-fledged Worshippers. How I actually envied those people in the begginging to be like them. Now I know that more than likely its just all for show. The Reserved people, that sings the songs and agree, content with everything they hear, I do not know if they heeded the words as knowledge or anything. Than the ones like me, either completely respectful to whoever speaking or disregarding all the other life in the building just to talk to some girl. I felt I have to prove it inside and that is all, prove it to God not to all these people. Anyways like the youth leader says I do not have to worry about people judging me.
Many people usually who accept Christianity, do for the wrong reasons sometimes. The promises of life after death even if its heaven or hell, is a very wrong reason to accept Christianity. Now into what is like six months of being serious about all this I have relized that there is somethings that I had to get rid off but for the most point I keep my individuality. Even in the bible it says that we are called for the same thing but there is multiple ways of doing it.
Indirectly Lydia pushed me to Christ more than anybody yet directly trying to push me away from Relgion, with her being the lost Prodigal daughter now and probably most of our relationship her an away from God. She knew the bible more than me. At the time I could quote 2nd Corinthians 5:7 and that was it. The lessons I learned, sometimes I would find myself working with her to disprove the bible by using other quotes from the bible to do so. With her being my girlfriend, it was such an opposing force, but for some reason I had a hard choice to make.
The part where I said "pushing onward, pushing every hindarance aside, out of my way". I declared to myself I wanted to learn all this, yet I was hindering myself, and yet being with this girl I was hindering myself. The church I grew up in the critical period of my faith taught lessons, that I am now just making sense of. I figured that I would dump her finally, yet I still struggling if I wanted to give up this "quest" just to hug her the way I use to. Till I hear news, that my best friend asked her out not even a month after the break-up. I did not care about them doing that but then I found out she said yes, not my choice for her to make. Yes it hurt a lot. That is the point where I did not want her anymore. Looking back I am glad that I can add to this story she came back to the Lord.
I was scared since I was Christian that everybody had a stronger faith than me, and that hindered me but a friend said to me that, whats a faith not worth fighting for. That is how I felt about mine. I did not fully understand what it was supposed to be for but I knew I didnt want to give up for sure unless I did know. I think my faith is stronger than it was ever than back then.
"The Mighty Men and Women of God"
This phrase contains so much power. It has been used in so many ways that, It has so many effects on me. Battlecry! Yeah Those that went remember it, but do any of you remember what happened there. I just know that a group went there before me the previous year, and got charged for god but nothing happened for them. Some came back the second year excited, some still knew what they had, some need reassurance, some came frightened they would lose a love one. As the Mighty men and Woman of god, as Chrissi and Josh told us. I mean sure I know from what I have read at the time. Matthew, John, Corinthians. You would think with the new Testament that the Old Testament was completely void. Way out of reason, I learned this from Pastor Dan at the Fellowship Church. I was complaining about reading Leviticus and how useless it seemed, I also told this to my boss who reads her bible and encourages me. Awesome I know, but they both told me that Even though the part of Leviticus, like how many cows you need for said sin and stuff like that, was void because of what Jesus has done. They told me to focus on the other part, That God is serious about his worship. "What happened to the Mighty men and Women of God?" It pains me that I used to be leadership there and I sort of just let it fall apart, trusting that whatever was coming was better, I think that part of the problem with my struggle. I think one of my life calling is Youth Ministry, or atleast to some extent, mentoring peers.
The new preacher came into Four Square, Jerry by the name, Pentecostal his game. He seemed so caught up in the Law Issue, I forgot about the love. I learned in the beginning that God "LOVED" us that is why he gave his only beggoten son so that if we believe in him we will be saved. Isn't that what we all want? For Our soul to be saved, and to die knowing what happens next I figured that is what I wanted. That was why I first choose Christianity. I am glad I did not stop their. because then you start asking questions their and base it all upon what you know already instead of learning more.
The law, God set laws back in the old Testament. Been reading that for a challenge, people thinks its useless, but I think its equal to Jesus. Without it most of the New Testament would be meaningless actually. Leviticus gave me a good insight on that. I think its really amazing when you start tying in Old to New Testament, that is how I came to my revelation today. We are suppose to believe in a God that is loving, but yet disciples us. How is this love here, if there is so many numerous things bad happening. Simply I say sin.
The downfall being that by his love we are too free, and by the standards he sets in his laws we can never attain since we sin. This came to me today. That Jerry is based heavy on the law because that is something we all forget in the love. Just because we are in his loves does not mean we should go undisciplined for our sins, which again goes to why Jesus died. I am not in to Christianity anymore to get into heaven, or for the love of God.
I am in it for the road to be a Disciple. I believe that god gives us the right to become better, to show others the real love, to show laws, and have them coincide, the Law being broken by sin, will cause us to be Punished but by the Love we have mercy to live up to God Standards. I love the Righteous heart of God and that he is not based all of Law, or all on Love. Which makes the Old testament of Laws and little love, complete the almost oppisite New Testament, of Love and little laws
It was a lesson on my first week away from New Hope. The lesson showed that mentoring was better for one on one. That if you pour your life into one thing that it has a higher quality when you are done. Maybe if our youth were to form again, then each leader could mentor one or two kids, because the example was mentoring is like nursing and only two babies can be breastfeed at once. Maybe that could be a successful way to lead a youth Group. Take turns teaching lessons, teaching it to the other leaders, so that they can help their 1 to 2 people with questions and answers. After we pour out so much of our life to these people eventually they can start pouring time into Bible reading or other people to mentor. Battlecry was a good event, that did set me on the right tracks, but it was a rough terrain after that.
I like being the innocent guy that everyone loves to hang out with and just chill. The guy you go to when you need help, a word of advice when needed. Be the perfect representive of Christ, thats too bad that I jump the fence to much. Due to my own behavior though being on the wrong side of the fence I earn some horrible titles. Heartbreaker and even a worse one, Player. Being accussed of only wanting to get in girls pants because I made out with a few girls. I actually grew tired of how a treated girls and recently got rebuked for it again. A while back resolved to not put myself in those positions anymore to stop 1 on 1 confrontations with girls because of my behavior.
I have not done such horrible acts for a while about 3 months. I by chance got to date this wonderful girl. One of the best ones to influence my life as of late. Taught me to be more into prayer, and more in the word. Before we were dating we had almost Bible Study twice a week and it was something special the way we hung out. It was totally glorifying God. Got this idea to try being official boy and girlfriend. I let it into be casual everything. Instead of bible studies we just played Halo or watched a movie. It was in the begginning I learned her story and got some blessings out of it. I sort of shut God out of the relationship once it became official a horrible idea. A short lived relationship, and what she got out of it was feeling like she was used by a Playa.
Thats really heartbreaking because I was tired of being that guy. That is all she got out of the relationship, and was better off just staying as friends. Its sort of been haunting me, and thats why I decided to put it out there. Its humilating to me of what I have done and thats what God would plainly say is sin. Anything we would be humilated about so I rather it be in the open instead of some months along somebody is thinking I have been playing these girls all these months when I been clean of the addiction, or even if I fall back into it, then somebody could kick my ass and set me straight.
I do not do this out of pity. Nothing but asking forgiveness from those I have wronged in the past. If you don't then I am fine with that. In the past girls have sometimes been fine with it. A little slap on the wrist is not going to change me, it would not change anybody unless they made an utmost conscience decision to do it themselves. I have been a scumbag and I do not want to dress it up anymore with the pretty masquerade. This is over a year old, and I now need to remember my commitment. As of the new year as to not fall into any new relationship with wrong motives
Deuteronomy 4:31 "For the LORD your God is a merciful God; he will not abandon or destroy you or forget the covenant with your ancestors, which he confirmed to them by oath."
My year has been good and bad. In the Lord I have learned more about personal disciple to keep doing things even when feelings are contrary God will give us the courage to do them.
I've read about how pray respects, honors, petitions and then praises God. This is found constant in many prayers of the bible though that is not a formula of prayer but it has a good structure to show amazing how God is instead of the "I need this, Lord" prayer. I've even found a clever way to bless my friends and others, and even found a old prayer I loved in Numbers. I've resolve to make it through the bible this year and going through Deuteronomy made me think about what got me here. Its been hard lessons. Who am I now? While I definitely know a lot more than the confused kid in the beginning of this entry, I am still capable of many the mistakes he made and still finding myself in trouble with my sin nature. I don't let it hold me so dearly and so as find myself talking with friends about Christ, ones that I thought would be disgusted of me talking about him. The lord will continue to bless us.
Numbers 6:24-26
“The LORD bless you
and keep you;
the LORD make his face shine on you
and be gracious to you;
the LORD turn his face toward you
and give you peace.”
"The book of Deuteronomy is a call to remember what God has done for you and then respond with a renewed commitment to love, trust, and obey him completely. This book was Moses last chance to remember the people of Israel, who they were, where they came from, and how they got where they were" ~an Excerpt from my Revolution Young Men Bible
This is a restatement of my spiritual life, I don't add date stamps in anyways but this has occurred over the last 5 years . Mainly reprints from journals and some added touches. Who was I in the beginning and who am I now?
Teenage boy at Sophomore year, I dated numerous girls none ever lasting more than two weeks. Seeking a reason as everyone, getting over my fated Christmas break contemplating the dark sides of life constantly, since my mind was not bothered by everyday things like school. The reason never hit. Some amazing girl, that I can not believe was a close friend once, and actually an ex-girlfriend, pushed me in the greatest direction of my life. Not listening and rebelling to seek any further into what she told me was happening. I did not become a christian quite than but I showed more interest in it, more interest in God
Then I got my drivers license. I went in to sort of I guess a date freak stage. I dated a girl, depression afterwards till I dated another, and after about three relationships I found myself unhappy and happy in all of them and they never lasted a week. I blamed my problems on false emotions and degraded myself as a way to say sorry, maybe not the best way to do it but it worked at the time, even if it was in my mind. I felt then that I should try to be single and not so dependent on relationships. I was not in relationship but I started flirting with almost any girl that would respond back to me. I kind of think this is the same or even worser then just dating one girl. I was sort of disgusted with myself.
Junior Year, I felt more reasoned, more secure with life, it being filled with more friends and homecoming was coming up. Never being to a dance before, I started flirting, and ultimately asking a girl to the dance. The way the person was used without her knowing. Not officially going out before the dance, we seemed to talk more and more. Messing with each others minds, and she invites me to Church. Oh josh, God, how I wanted to really know him and learn about that scene. I decided to go.
So I did yes to be with her but slightly, mainly to answer some of my questions. Know how I said I felt judged. I feel it even now but my youth leader told me once to not worry about people judging me and that the lord had something in store for me. This sort of made me feel weird. I did not really want to believe everything thrown at me. So I attended a few more weeks. Looking around I see the common sterotypes at the Church, the All-out, arms raised, full-fledged Worshippers. How I actually envied those people in the begginging to be like them. Now I know that more than likely its just all for show. The Reserved people, that sings the songs and agree, content with everything they hear, I do not know if they heeded the words as knowledge or anything. Than the ones like me, either completely respectful to whoever speaking or disregarding all the other life in the building just to talk to some girl. I felt I have to prove it inside and that is all, prove it to God not to all these people. Anyways like the youth leader says I do not have to worry about people judging me.
Many people usually who accept Christianity, do for the wrong reasons sometimes. The promises of life after death even if its heaven or hell, is a very wrong reason to accept Christianity. Now into what is like six months of being serious about all this I have relized that there is somethings that I had to get rid off but for the most point I keep my individuality. Even in the bible it says that we are called for the same thing but there is multiple ways of doing it.
Indirectly Lydia pushed me to Christ more than anybody yet directly trying to push me away from Relgion, with her being the lost Prodigal daughter now and probably most of our relationship her an away from God. She knew the bible more than me. At the time I could quote 2nd Corinthians 5:7 and that was it. The lessons I learned, sometimes I would find myself working with her to disprove the bible by using other quotes from the bible to do so. With her being my girlfriend, it was such an opposing force, but for some reason I had a hard choice to make.
The part where I said "pushing onward, pushing every hindarance aside, out of my way". I declared to myself I wanted to learn all this, yet I was hindering myself, and yet being with this girl I was hindering myself. The church I grew up in the critical period of my faith taught lessons, that I am now just making sense of. I figured that I would dump her finally, yet I still struggling if I wanted to give up this "quest" just to hug her the way I use to. Till I hear news, that my best friend asked her out not even a month after the break-up. I did not care about them doing that but then I found out she said yes, not my choice for her to make. Yes it hurt a lot. That is the point where I did not want her anymore. Looking back I am glad that I can add to this story she came back to the Lord.
I was scared since I was Christian that everybody had a stronger faith than me, and that hindered me but a friend said to me that, whats a faith not worth fighting for. That is how I felt about mine. I did not fully understand what it was supposed to be for but I knew I didnt want to give up for sure unless I did know. I think my faith is stronger than it was ever than back then.
"The Mighty Men and Women of God"
This phrase contains so much power. It has been used in so many ways that, It has so many effects on me. Battlecry! Yeah Those that went remember it, but do any of you remember what happened there. I just know that a group went there before me the previous year, and got charged for god but nothing happened for them. Some came back the second year excited, some still knew what they had, some need reassurance, some came frightened they would lose a love one. As the Mighty men and Woman of god, as Chrissi and Josh told us. I mean sure I know from what I have read at the time. Matthew, John, Corinthians. You would think with the new Testament that the Old Testament was completely void. Way out of reason, I learned this from Pastor Dan at the Fellowship Church. I was complaining about reading Leviticus and how useless it seemed, I also told this to my boss who reads her bible and encourages me. Awesome I know, but they both told me that Even though the part of Leviticus, like how many cows you need for said sin and stuff like that, was void because of what Jesus has done. They told me to focus on the other part, That God is serious about his worship. "What happened to the Mighty men and Women of God?" It pains me that I used to be leadership there and I sort of just let it fall apart, trusting that whatever was coming was better, I think that part of the problem with my struggle. I think one of my life calling is Youth Ministry, or atleast to some extent, mentoring peers.
The new preacher came into Four Square, Jerry by the name, Pentecostal his game. He seemed so caught up in the Law Issue, I forgot about the love. I learned in the beginning that God "LOVED" us that is why he gave his only beggoten son so that if we believe in him we will be saved. Isn't that what we all want? For Our soul to be saved, and to die knowing what happens next I figured that is what I wanted. That was why I first choose Christianity. I am glad I did not stop their. because then you start asking questions their and base it all upon what you know already instead of learning more.
The law, God set laws back in the old Testament. Been reading that for a challenge, people thinks its useless, but I think its equal to Jesus. Without it most of the New Testament would be meaningless actually. Leviticus gave me a good insight on that. I think its really amazing when you start tying in Old to New Testament, that is how I came to my revelation today. We are suppose to believe in a God that is loving, but yet disciples us. How is this love here, if there is so many numerous things bad happening. Simply I say sin.
The downfall being that by his love we are too free, and by the standards he sets in his laws we can never attain since we sin. This came to me today. That Jerry is based heavy on the law because that is something we all forget in the love. Just because we are in his loves does not mean we should go undisciplined for our sins, which again goes to why Jesus died. I am not in to Christianity anymore to get into heaven, or for the love of God.
I am in it for the road to be a Disciple. I believe that god gives us the right to become better, to show others the real love, to show laws, and have them coincide, the Law being broken by sin, will cause us to be Punished but by the Love we have mercy to live up to God Standards. I love the Righteous heart of God and that he is not based all of Law, or all on Love. Which makes the Old testament of Laws and little love, complete the almost oppisite New Testament, of Love and little laws
It was a lesson on my first week away from New Hope. The lesson showed that mentoring was better for one on one. That if you pour your life into one thing that it has a higher quality when you are done. Maybe if our youth were to form again, then each leader could mentor one or two kids, because the example was mentoring is like nursing and only two babies can be breastfeed at once. Maybe that could be a successful way to lead a youth Group. Take turns teaching lessons, teaching it to the other leaders, so that they can help their 1 to 2 people with questions and answers. After we pour out so much of our life to these people eventually they can start pouring time into Bible reading or other people to mentor. Battlecry was a good event, that did set me on the right tracks, but it was a rough terrain after that.
I like being the innocent guy that everyone loves to hang out with and just chill. The guy you go to when you need help, a word of advice when needed. Be the perfect representive of Christ, thats too bad that I jump the fence to much. Due to my own behavior though being on the wrong side of the fence I earn some horrible titles. Heartbreaker and even a worse one, Player. Being accussed of only wanting to get in girls pants because I made out with a few girls. I actually grew tired of how a treated girls and recently got rebuked for it again. A while back resolved to not put myself in those positions anymore to stop 1 on 1 confrontations with girls because of my behavior.
I have not done such horrible acts for a while about 3 months. I by chance got to date this wonderful girl. One of the best ones to influence my life as of late. Taught me to be more into prayer, and more in the word. Before we were dating we had almost Bible Study twice a week and it was something special the way we hung out. It was totally glorifying God. Got this idea to try being official boy and girlfriend. I let it into be casual everything. Instead of bible studies we just played Halo or watched a movie. It was in the begginning I learned her story and got some blessings out of it. I sort of shut God out of the relationship once it became official a horrible idea. A short lived relationship, and what she got out of it was feeling like she was used by a Playa.
Thats really heartbreaking because I was tired of being that guy. That is all she got out of the relationship, and was better off just staying as friends. Its sort of been haunting me, and thats why I decided to put it out there. Its humilating to me of what I have done and thats what God would plainly say is sin. Anything we would be humilated about so I rather it be in the open instead of some months along somebody is thinking I have been playing these girls all these months when I been clean of the addiction, or even if I fall back into it, then somebody could kick my ass and set me straight.
I do not do this out of pity. Nothing but asking forgiveness from those I have wronged in the past. If you don't then I am fine with that. In the past girls have sometimes been fine with it. A little slap on the wrist is not going to change me, it would not change anybody unless they made an utmost conscience decision to do it themselves. I have been a scumbag and I do not want to dress it up anymore with the pretty masquerade. This is over a year old, and I now need to remember my commitment. As of the new year as to not fall into any new relationship with wrong motives
Deuteronomy 4:31 "For the LORD your God is a merciful God; he will not abandon or destroy you or forget the covenant with your ancestors, which he confirmed to them by oath."
My year has been good and bad. In the Lord I have learned more about personal disciple to keep doing things even when feelings are contrary God will give us the courage to do them.
I've read about how pray respects, honors, petitions and then praises God. This is found constant in many prayers of the bible though that is not a formula of prayer but it has a good structure to show amazing how God is instead of the "I need this, Lord" prayer. I've even found a clever way to bless my friends and others, and even found a old prayer I loved in Numbers. I've resolve to make it through the bible this year and going through Deuteronomy made me think about what got me here. Its been hard lessons. Who am I now? While I definitely know a lot more than the confused kid in the beginning of this entry, I am still capable of many the mistakes he made and still finding myself in trouble with my sin nature. I don't let it hold me so dearly and so as find myself talking with friends about Christ, ones that I thought would be disgusted of me talking about him. The lord will continue to bless us.
Numbers 6:24-26
“The LORD bless you
and keep you;
the LORD make his face shine on you
and be gracious to you;
the LORD turn his face toward you
and give you peace.”
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Dragged Away by Desires
James 1:12-18 "Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.
When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.
Don’t be deceived, my dear brothers and sisters. Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created."
When I read this the first thing that comes to mind is a movie called Bruce Almighty. The comedy where Bruce Nolan(played by Jim Carrey) feels like God tempts him, irks him, and even says 'God is like a mean kid on an anthill, burning ants with a magnifying glass. And I'm the ant.' God (played by Morgan Freeman) confronts him and allows Bruce to have 'god-like' powers to see if he could do better. Bruce soon found himself benefiting only himself. Later when he sat down being overwhelmed by prayers of the world or so he thought for he was only receiving ones in his city, eventually Bruce figures that if he answered everyones prayer the way they want that everything would be good but eventually finds the reverse. The city comes to the destructive forces and riots in the city. Eventually Bruce finds that things are better left in God's hands and life he had might of not been that bad. I rather enjoy this film actually.
The same story talks about different trials that we might face, even Bruce having the worst day of his life tried to shoo people away from a helpless man and ends up getting beat up and his car vandalized. I like to see it as us having that bad day, but sometimes its continual and everyday in our walk. Even if we stand up for the right thing we might be punished. No matter the consequences now though we just see a small frame of God's work, not God's big picture. "Having stood the test, that person will recieve the crown of life that the Lord promised to those who love him." It is sort of like a vaccine. In the short run, Needles hurt when they prick you, but in the long term we will not have to suffer various diseases.
This comes to a reassurance yet again of who God is. God is not a "wishy-washy" or like the wavering shadow but that God is a good gift giver. Giving us truth that we may be the first fruits of all that he created.
When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.
Don’t be deceived, my dear brothers and sisters. Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created."
When I read this the first thing that comes to mind is a movie called Bruce Almighty. The comedy where Bruce Nolan(played by Jim Carrey) feels like God tempts him, irks him, and even says 'God is like a mean kid on an anthill, burning ants with a magnifying glass. And I'm the ant.' God (played by Morgan Freeman) confronts him and allows Bruce to have 'god-like' powers to see if he could do better. Bruce soon found himself benefiting only himself. Later when he sat down being overwhelmed by prayers of the world or so he thought for he was only receiving ones in his city, eventually Bruce figures that if he answered everyones prayer the way they want that everything would be good but eventually finds the reverse. The city comes to the destructive forces and riots in the city. Eventually Bruce finds that things are better left in God's hands and life he had might of not been that bad. I rather enjoy this film actually.
The same story talks about different trials that we might face, even Bruce having the worst day of his life tried to shoo people away from a helpless man and ends up getting beat up and his car vandalized. I like to see it as us having that bad day, but sometimes its continual and everyday in our walk. Even if we stand up for the right thing we might be punished. No matter the consequences now though we just see a small frame of God's work, not God's big picture. "Having stood the test, that person will recieve the crown of life that the Lord promised to those who love him." It is sort of like a vaccine. In the short run, Needles hurt when they prick you, but in the long term we will not have to suffer various diseases.
This comes to a reassurance yet again of who God is. God is not a "wishy-washy" or like the wavering shadow but that God is a good gift giver. Giving us truth that we may be the first fruits of all that he created.
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Afterlife is not something to Worship
Revelations 21:3-5 "Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." He who was seated on the throne said, 'I am making everything new.'"
Here I open with an few verse from Revelations which talks about heaven and serves us good point to study revelations to know about the coming heaven, but even then knowing all the stuff in the bible will not serve a purpose unless we know the heart of it. There might be a reason why the bible usually refers to a Savior, and not to heaven. Without Christ the bible would be nothing but a waste of paper as Bob Kilpatrick said in service. The bible is not about getting to heaven, but knowing Christ.
I was riding in a car and we got to start talking about our views on religion, faith, and God. It was interesting to hear other peoples views so varied. I am aware of heaven being God's dwelling place, but the way people see heaven kind of worried me. It goes back I was probably the only Christian paying attention in the car, and I got to listen in on many things. Here are some sound bites of what I heard:
"What are your beliefs about God?"
"Well, I take an Agnostic view, there could possibly be a God, but can't really be proven."
"Oh I think there is not a God, I am atheist. When you die, you don't go anywhere, you just die"
"Don't you feel bad that you can't die and see your loved ones again?"
"Why do you have to believe in a God for there to be a heaven? I believe when we die their is a heaven waiting for us."
"All Christians do is good deeds to get to heaven, why can't they do Good to just do good?"
The whole time I was just trying to think of something witty to say to amaze them, to let them know God is not a heaven and is so much more than just an afterlife. Nothing came to mind, but now I wish I could of said this, "God is not meant to be a means to an end. God is our creator meant to bring meaning to our lives." An afterlife in heaven sounds swell but not the big picture. God gave us his only son so that we may build relationship with God again, and relationship with God is a transforming thing. We become a new creation, we learn to love properly, and do things out of love, not do good to attain heaven, or "pad our stats" like my friend said.
Hosea 13:14 “I will deliver this people from the power of the grave;
I will redeem them from death.
Where, O death, are your plagues?
Where, O grave, is your destruction?
Death in this life becomes something else, not a loss of consciousness, it becomes something fulfilling. We have the victory in Christ! We triumph over death! God is something more than just a person we need to know to get to heaven. God wants us to know him, and love him.
PostScript:
At this point I have to admit a fear that I petition with God a lot about death. Death is not suppose to scare a Christian, for I know the power that death holds because of our savior and the redemption that comes from it. This is a fear I think most have but do not want to admit, especially when even Christian peers might ask why I fear that. I try to not let it consume me, I usually keep my mind busy. You can give me your prayers that God will help give me the ease of mind and wisdom to not fear this anymore. I know that I should not, but knowing is sometimes not enough.
Here I open with an few verse from Revelations which talks about heaven and serves us good point to study revelations to know about the coming heaven, but even then knowing all the stuff in the bible will not serve a purpose unless we know the heart of it. There might be a reason why the bible usually refers to a Savior, and not to heaven. Without Christ the bible would be nothing but a waste of paper as Bob Kilpatrick said in service. The bible is not about getting to heaven, but knowing Christ.
I was riding in a car and we got to start talking about our views on religion, faith, and God. It was interesting to hear other peoples views so varied. I am aware of heaven being God's dwelling place, but the way people see heaven kind of worried me. It goes back I was probably the only Christian paying attention in the car, and I got to listen in on many things. Here are some sound bites of what I heard:
"What are your beliefs about God?"
"Well, I take an Agnostic view, there could possibly be a God, but can't really be proven."
"Oh I think there is not a God, I am atheist. When you die, you don't go anywhere, you just die"
"Don't you feel bad that you can't die and see your loved ones again?"
"Why do you have to believe in a God for there to be a heaven? I believe when we die their is a heaven waiting for us."
"All Christians do is good deeds to get to heaven, why can't they do Good to just do good?"
The whole time I was just trying to think of something witty to say to amaze them, to let them know God is not a heaven and is so much more than just an afterlife. Nothing came to mind, but now I wish I could of said this, "God is not meant to be a means to an end. God is our creator meant to bring meaning to our lives." An afterlife in heaven sounds swell but not the big picture. God gave us his only son so that we may build relationship with God again, and relationship with God is a transforming thing. We become a new creation, we learn to love properly, and do things out of love, not do good to attain heaven, or "pad our stats" like my friend said.
Hosea 13:14 “I will deliver this people from the power of the grave;
I will redeem them from death.
Where, O death, are your plagues?
Where, O grave, is your destruction?
Death in this life becomes something else, not a loss of consciousness, it becomes something fulfilling. We have the victory in Christ! We triumph over death! God is something more than just a person we need to know to get to heaven. God wants us to know him, and love him.
PostScript:
At this point I have to admit a fear that I petition with God a lot about death. Death is not suppose to scare a Christian, for I know the power that death holds because of our savior and the redemption that comes from it. This is a fear I think most have but do not want to admit, especially when even Christian peers might ask why I fear that. I try to not let it consume me, I usually keep my mind busy. You can give me your prayers that God will help give me the ease of mind and wisdom to not fear this anymore. I know that I should not, but knowing is sometimes not enough.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
We're all just Grass in God's Breath
James 1:9-11 Believers in humble circumstances ought to take pride in their high position. But the rich should take pride in their humiliation—since they will pass away like a wild flower. For the sun rises with scorching heat and withers the plant; its blossom falls and its beauty is destroyed. In the same way, the rich will fade away even while they go about their business.
Our mortality is something that is to remind us here, that even the believers in humble circumstances "will pass like a wild flower." While I dislike to say this myself, because I do not like to overgeneralize people but people of poverty or the "poor" will come to easier terms of leaving everything behind than the "rich". Thus they should take "pride in their high position" for they can accept God for where they are at in any earthy circumstances they are in.
"Rich" people are not to be treated like they are beyond any possible salvation because they might have a harder time realizing leave our possessions behind, which is why I think we fashion verses like Matthew 19:24, to put us apart from them that we could go to a "different heaven" than them. We think of the billionaires or millionaires, or those with a little more money than us. This view is horrible since the image of poor in America has turned to "we live paycheck to paycheck sliding by" and not "Do I get to eat today?"
The question I think lots of Christians are to ask themselves with verses like these is not quickly associate with the "good" one but see yourself as the one open for correction and improving upon faith. This makes me feel like I don't do enough, my financial security that I have might seems unstable at times, but what is a greater way to be humble in my own situation? SACRIFICE! James talks about taking pride in our humiliation, a rich man that gives away his "riches" of the world would be a significant change, anyone would have to agree to that. Its hard for any of us to just give something away, whether its money or help. The biggest changes of our lives are the biggest times to mature in Christ and serving others. When someone comes to this verse thinking themselves as the "rich" that could become "poorer" with Christ I think its a more humbling experience than claiming, "Yeah, I am poor so I'll have to ignore the rest of the verse"
Isiah 40:6-8
A voice says, “Cry out.”
And I said, “What shall I cry?”
“All men are like grass,
and all their glory is like the flowers of the field.
The grass withers and the flowers fall,
because the breath of the LORD blows on them.
Surely the people are grass.
The grass withers and the flowers fall,
but the word of our God stands forever.”
James mirrors Isiah closely here so I felt it ideal to also post Isiah. One thing I have to say is I have troubles talking about verses pertaining to money, and such so I am totally looking for help upon any of these verses as I go through James. I do have a book with a commentary over this which Pastor Nate borrowed to me and might update it even with notes from it.
Plugging in a Cool site to visit, www.facelessinternational.com, aims to fight some of the social injustices in the world. Giving you both small and huge things to thing about, and how some small change today would equal the big change tomorrow.
Our mortality is something that is to remind us here, that even the believers in humble circumstances "will pass like a wild flower." While I dislike to say this myself, because I do not like to overgeneralize people but people of poverty or the "poor" will come to easier terms of leaving everything behind than the "rich". Thus they should take "pride in their high position" for they can accept God for where they are at in any earthy circumstances they are in.
"Rich" people are not to be treated like they are beyond any possible salvation because they might have a harder time realizing leave our possessions behind, which is why I think we fashion verses like Matthew 19:24, to put us apart from them that we could go to a "different heaven" than them. We think of the billionaires or millionaires, or those with a little more money than us. This view is horrible since the image of poor in America has turned to "we live paycheck to paycheck sliding by" and not "Do I get to eat today?"
The question I think lots of Christians are to ask themselves with verses like these is not quickly associate with the "good" one but see yourself as the one open for correction and improving upon faith. This makes me feel like I don't do enough, my financial security that I have might seems unstable at times, but what is a greater way to be humble in my own situation? SACRIFICE! James talks about taking pride in our humiliation, a rich man that gives away his "riches" of the world would be a significant change, anyone would have to agree to that. Its hard for any of us to just give something away, whether its money or help. The biggest changes of our lives are the biggest times to mature in Christ and serving others. When someone comes to this verse thinking themselves as the "rich" that could become "poorer" with Christ I think its a more humbling experience than claiming, "Yeah, I am poor so I'll have to ignore the rest of the verse"
Isiah 40:6-8
A voice says, “Cry out.”
And I said, “What shall I cry?”
“All men are like grass,
and all their glory is like the flowers of the field.
The grass withers and the flowers fall,
because the breath of the LORD blows on them.
Surely the people are grass.
The grass withers and the flowers fall,
but the word of our God stands forever.”
James mirrors Isiah closely here so I felt it ideal to also post Isiah. One thing I have to say is I have troubles talking about verses pertaining to money, and such so I am totally looking for help upon any of these verses as I go through James. I do have a book with a commentary over this which Pastor Nate borrowed to me and might update it even with notes from it.
Plugging in a Cool site to visit, www.facelessinternational.com, aims to fight some of the social injustices in the world. Giving you both small and huge things to thing about, and how some small change today would equal the big change tomorrow.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
KNOWING The Contrasting Knowings
James 1:5-8
5If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. 6But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; 8he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.
This has been a struggle with me over the last few days when I first read these verse. I felt something trying to affect me but I just could not find meaning to it or ideas to process. I first wrote that I am a double-minded man, unstable in all he does. Why? I feel that way so I'll start by being honest to myself. We know we would like things this way specifically but will compromise to another idea instead of adhering to the original plans. I then starting talking about my own prayer life about how I understand God could do amazing things through prayer but he might not do them for me also that we can at anytime ask God for more wisdom. Practically thats what I said word for word on my first visit to this verse but now I feel the idea of what James was going for here in this opening statement.
I was that double minded man. James goes so far as pointing fingers I would say quickly in this verse. James says that "[we] should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault." A hard switch from what he first states to put up the good fight even through the trials to making us feel the conviction about our character. James goes on a lot throughout most of this book that Christians should walk with integrity and anything less is hypocritical. Feels judgmental in a view to a new Christian most likely but when you are so far in the walk as someone such as me, this is like, "Seriously, I know this rock is there, why am I still forcing myself to stumble over it." This could be in numerous situations but the conviction that hits me is this was in response to how people pray.
We ask in belief that it will be given to us. It being Wisdom here not ANYTHING which is what lots of people hear that if you "believe" enough it will be given to you. This is completing in regards to wisdom in the Lord, if I understand God at all is that Wisdom is something that God would love to give without reserve but when we come to him in the double minded manner of yes, God can do this, but is he really? To put it another way:God could do amazing things through prayer but he might not do them for me. Look familiar? God wants us to be confident in asking something such as this. Even reminds me a little of this verse.
Luke 11:11 "Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead?"
If we ask God in good faith for something like Wisdom, I don't think he would hold it back, especially if its something to understand and improve our character and walk with God especially asked in humility. Why can't we put that into practice? Its not that hard, we understand it, know that its happened plenty of times to others around us and even other stories in the bible. We can "Yes we know lots about God," but when talking the talk comes to walking the walk, we seem to have our faces grinding on the dirt. Pastor Kevin even explaining it to me that we know God, but we must KNOW God. Its easy to get a bullet list out and start creating a God, to give concrete form to the miraculous unseen God, even further disrespecting him. What does it come down is we believe but we must overcome our unbelief. WHAT?! See how James was talking about this double minded man, this statement sums it up pretty well, written out its confusing but I am sure you come to a sense of understanding from it.
Mark 9:21-29
Jesus asked the boy's father, "How long has he been like this?"
"From childhood," he answered. "It has often thrown him into fire or water to kill him. But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us."
" 'If you can'?" said Jesus. "Everything is possible for him who believes."
Immediately the boy's father exclaimed, "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!"
When Jesus saw that a crowd was running to the scene, he rebuked the evil spirit. "You deaf and mute spirit," he said, "I command you, come out of him and never enter him again."
The spirit shrieked, convulsed him violently and came out. The boy looked so much like a corpse that many said, "He's dead." But Jesus took him by the hand and lifted him to his feet, and he stood up.
After Jesus had gone indoors, his disciples asked him privately, "Why couldn't we drive it out?"
He replied, "This kind can come out only by prayer."
This kind can only come out only by prayer. Speaking of the man's honesty in his belief and contrasting nature inside him and its even a quality with the disciples who also had this issue of unbelief to heal, move mountains, and drive out demons. The first spot is realizing we again are trying to form this concrete idea of God to live by, but God is not a bulleted list. We must acknowledge who he really is and break down in prayer to break down out unbelief that we carry. Prayer is always first, nothing serves its rightful purpose if its outside of God's Grace.
I can Only Imagine what God will be like but I will not be able to fully grasp who he really is here.
5If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. 6But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; 8he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.
This has been a struggle with me over the last few days when I first read these verse. I felt something trying to affect me but I just could not find meaning to it or ideas to process. I first wrote that I am a double-minded man, unstable in all he does. Why? I feel that way so I'll start by being honest to myself. We know we would like things this way specifically but will compromise to another idea instead of adhering to the original plans. I then starting talking about my own prayer life about how I understand God could do amazing things through prayer but he might not do them for me also that we can at anytime ask God for more wisdom. Practically thats what I said word for word on my first visit to this verse but now I feel the idea of what James was going for here in this opening statement.
I was that double minded man. James goes so far as pointing fingers I would say quickly in this verse. James says that "[we] should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault." A hard switch from what he first states to put up the good fight even through the trials to making us feel the conviction about our character. James goes on a lot throughout most of this book that Christians should walk with integrity and anything less is hypocritical. Feels judgmental in a view to a new Christian most likely but when you are so far in the walk as someone such as me, this is like, "Seriously, I know this rock is there, why am I still forcing myself to stumble over it." This could be in numerous situations but the conviction that hits me is this was in response to how people pray.
We ask in belief that it will be given to us. It being Wisdom here not ANYTHING which is what lots of people hear that if you "believe" enough it will be given to you. This is completing in regards to wisdom in the Lord, if I understand God at all is that Wisdom is something that God would love to give without reserve but when we come to him in the double minded manner of yes, God can do this, but is he really? To put it another way:God could do amazing things through prayer but he might not do them for me. Look familiar? God wants us to be confident in asking something such as this. Even reminds me a little of this verse.
Luke 11:11 "Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead?"
If we ask God in good faith for something like Wisdom, I don't think he would hold it back, especially if its something to understand and improve our character and walk with God especially asked in humility. Why can't we put that into practice? Its not that hard, we understand it, know that its happened plenty of times to others around us and even other stories in the bible. We can "Yes we know lots about God," but when talking the talk comes to walking the walk, we seem to have our faces grinding on the dirt. Pastor Kevin even explaining it to me that we know God, but we must KNOW God. Its easy to get a bullet list out and start creating a God, to give concrete form to the miraculous unseen God, even further disrespecting him. What does it come down is we believe but we must overcome our unbelief. WHAT?! See how James was talking about this double minded man, this statement sums it up pretty well, written out its confusing but I am sure you come to a sense of understanding from it.
Mark 9:21-29
Jesus asked the boy's father, "How long has he been like this?"
"From childhood," he answered. "It has often thrown him into fire or water to kill him. But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us."
" 'If you can'?" said Jesus. "Everything is possible for him who believes."
Immediately the boy's father exclaimed, "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!"
When Jesus saw that a crowd was running to the scene, he rebuked the evil spirit. "You deaf and mute spirit," he said, "I command you, come out of him and never enter him again."
The spirit shrieked, convulsed him violently and came out. The boy looked so much like a corpse that many said, "He's dead." But Jesus took him by the hand and lifted him to his feet, and he stood up.
After Jesus had gone indoors, his disciples asked him privately, "Why couldn't we drive it out?"
He replied, "This kind can come out only by prayer."
This kind can only come out only by prayer. Speaking of the man's honesty in his belief and contrasting nature inside him and its even a quality with the disciples who also had this issue of unbelief to heal, move mountains, and drive out demons. The first spot is realizing we again are trying to form this concrete idea of God to live by, but God is not a bulleted list. We must acknowledge who he really is and break down in prayer to break down out unbelief that we carry. Prayer is always first, nothing serves its rightful purpose if its outside of God's Grace.
I can Only Imagine what God will be like but I will not be able to fully grasp who he really is here.
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