Dark is the Way, Light is the Place

Psalm 43:1-5 " Vindicate me, O God, and defend my cause
against an ungodly people,
from the deceitful and unjust man
deliver me!

For you are the God in whom I take refuge;
why have you rejected me?
Why do I go about mourning
because of the oppression of the enemy?

Send out your light and your truth;
let them lead me;
let them bring me to your holy hill
and to your dwelling!

Then I will go to the altar of God,
to God my exceeding joy,
and I will praise you with the lyre,
O God, my God.

Why are you cast down, O my soul,
and why are you in turmoil within me?
Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,
my salvation and my God."

Recently I went to a concert for Anberlin, and I got this shirt from their new Album. It states Dark is the Way, Light is the Place. It got me thinking about how I viewed darkness and light. Video Games will put obvious indicators that light means good and darkness is bad. I take that same stand but with the needed adjustment that God is light.

I've been through a lot recently beating myself up about my character and who I want to be or really who does God want me to be? Turning 21 next month, finishing my Associates next semester and not knowing what I really want to be still. Really all I knew about my future was that it seemed dark and murky, not something amazing and to look forward too. Each day it was new plans and my spiritual growth was stunted. The guard I had up, my evangelistic skills were of changing faith into this convincing "sell-able" idea and not something connected to emotions and the entirety of my being as Jesus Christ should be. My want to help others was a mission to help someone for them to gain happiness since I could not find my own, not from my desire to truly help people as a Man of God (again where was I hiding this guy?). I had no surrender what so ever in my walk, instead of going to God for vindication in ALL THINGS. As my friend Benny says, "Let go and let God!" We need to let God be the one that guides us, so we can be a light onto others.

I wanted to do all these things for myself and be selfish, knowing the word and losing the application since I want to do it my way first before I listen to God or even pray about it. Seemed fine to do at first, thats only the justification we seek in ourselves or peers until I just started talking about myself in the most honest way that I could to a former youth pastor of mine. We are our own worst critics, and I am almost the epitome of that saying. In turn I was shocked at how I went about problem solving, I went from explaining things I hate about "Bad Christians" and it turned into me describing stuff about myself I though was fine. The two lists were too similar. My friend said I was similar to the Israelites, and that I shouldn't spend my time wandering about the desert fighting God every bit of the way when I know he is Lord with my best interests at hand.

Psalm 23:4 "Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me."

I found myself in the darkness. Not knowingly submitting myself to this force to suppress what I am capable through Christ. I was sitting with no motivation in the future. Darkness became the place I sat, depressed and emotionally spent. I didn't care about anything. Darkness isn't suppose to be the place we are. We seek our refuge in God, as he lives within us. God is the Light so we can be the Light for others. LIGHT IS THE PLACE, our destination, that we thrive in for we are in fellowship with Christ. Everyone is walking around with a candle in their hands stumbling around in the dark for they do not know the light, why then knowing the light cover it up and try my own way? That's right, I am done being selfish. Let me follow the path you set before me Lord.

1 John 5-7 "This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin."

I recommend listening to Wavorly's "How Have we Come This Far" I think I want to start doing this as an addition to my blogs.